I got to that point again. Day 1. Uh those dreaded words. I decided I really needed to do it properly this time, I'm sick of being sick and I'm so over being fat. Being fat, yeah I use the word fat ha, isnt making me feel good or helping my fibromyalgia at all. I'm so sluggish all the time, im exhausted all the time, and I just feel pretty lame.
My mental health has seriously dropped recently and I have asked to go back into therapy not only for my mental health but for my food addictions. I binge eat. It has total control over me when it happens. I wont do it for months and months then will start doing it again for months. I'll become addicted to one thing, or a few things for weeks, months even and wont be able to get them out of my head. At one point it was sweet potatoes, before that that it was smoked salmon bacon and eggs, before that it was those cheap little fudge chocolate bars. Most recently it has been revels and chocolate raisins. But family size bags, and I'll eat four bags a night. THAT'S BAD.
On Sunday I had my 'last' coke and chocolate. Obviously its not going to be the last one in my life, but just for now. I needed to go cold turkey as they say in order to actually do it properly. Theres no point in saying I would cut down cos I just wouldn't. I wouldn't even cut down so I wont even bother with that.
I started my juicing Monday. I have juiced a few times now so Im pretty much used to it, I know how I like the juices and I find them pretty filling and tasty. I have started adding Chia seeds to my juices now. I love them. I have had chia seeds for ages and not known what to do with them. I know add a little sprinkle to my juice and they swell up. I suck them up through my straw and just love them.
One of my other reasons to get motivated and start taking things seriously was the Deliciously Ella book. My mum gave it to me on Sunday as a seriously late birthday present. I read her story and it was pretty similar to mine. She had an illness that caused her great pain and chronic fatigue, she was bed bound and depressed but she turned her life around with healing whole foods and a plant based diet. Reading her story really inspired me to do this. My friend also bought me a juicing book by Liz Arden which is also very inspiring and very interesting.
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| My Liz earle book from my friend for my birthday |
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| My deliciously Ella book. |
I also need to sort my mental health out as well as my body. I need to keep my mind healthy, to keep my body healthy, to keep my fibromyalgia at bay, its all a big vicious circle you see.
So day 1. Fine. Got through it. I survived. I love my juices. I actually slept most of the day to avoid temptation. It seems that's how I'm gonna get through this detox, by sleeping and reading my book to keep me occupied. I rode my bike for about 20 minutes or so too, so a little bit of exercise was squeezed into my day ! I went to an open mic night in the evening. I drank my green juice on the bus then at the bar I had a herbal tea while my friends drank alcohol next to me !
These were my juices in the day. I didnt photograph all of them. This orange colour one has carrots, pineapple, apple, ginger and lemon. I use the ginger as a natural pain releif which I do notice a difference with. The lemon is in the recipe, but only a slice. I add a whole lemon !
Day 2, went just as well. I went into Bournemouth to meet my friend and weighed myself. I avoided all temptation. I could have so easily bought chocolate and coke but I didn't. I bought a few dates instead. Oh I do love those dates ! I think a few dates a day along with my juice fast isn't going to stop me loosing weight.
This was my first green juice of the day. Look at that lovely green pint of goodness. It has apple, brocoli, kale, cucumber, celery, courgett, lemon and ginger. So yummy !
I weighed myself at boots. I weigh 11 stone 9lbs. Ideally I need to be down to 9 ish stone. I want to be slim, but curvy. My hips are pretty wide and lets face it my boobs are massive, so Im never gonna be a size 6, and I don't want to.
Me and my friend went to Yoga last night. It was lovely. Its my 3rd week now and I feel like last night everything just clicked and slotted into place and I finally 'got it'. I was a lot more focused on myself rather than everyone else and less self conscious. I did really well with all the breathing techniques. Katina spent a long time going through the breath work with us. At the end we meditated and I managed to half relax. I don't know why, I guess my mind is so chaotic I struggle to relax at the end of yoga, it'll come in time. For sure.
I'm now half way through day 3. Im off work right now due to mental health and Fibromyalgia, so I'm able to just chill out in my comfy clothes. I have headaches, hot sweats, cold shivers and just feel rubbish. Its the day 3 detox I think. I'm 3 days without coke and chocolate. Headaches are good, it means your getting all the toxins out.
Im just watching friends on TV and plan to hibernate so I can get through this :) Im going out for dinner on friday night, so will juice up untill then and just continue on Saturday morning. My brother is leaving the lovely little french place he works so me and my parents are going there for the last time.
I took this selfie this morning of my face at two angles, I'll take it each week or weigh in day. So hopefully I can start to see a difference ! The first photo is me and a friend at her gig last week, My face looks so fat. I need some cheek bones haha ! The middle photo is a no filter selfie that I will take again next Tuesday and the last one is me and my friend out on Monday night.
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