About Amsterdam.

Im meant to be cleaning the flat right now, cooking my dinner, shaving my legs, all sorts of shit, but instead im gonna bring you another blog, on you guessed it, Amsterdam.

Im a bit hyper right now, so I thought its a good time to write a blog. All my randomness will come out of my fingers onto my laptop then somewhere in the world onto your screen. Im just gonna write about all the stuff I have noticed in Amsterdam thats different from home (england)

Biking. So obviously my last blog was all about biking. But I think it still needs to be mentioned. The bike lanes here are fab ! We really dont have them back home, or maybe we do, and I just dont bike much and now im making myself sound like a dumbo. The bike lines are red, and once your on them, you have the absolute right of way. Its actually pretty fun ringing your bell like a nutter who has escaped a mental home at the tourists that dare to step onto the paths. Or shouting some kind of obsceneties at them is also fun. Its very busy today in central cos of the Chelsea fans. Dont get me wrong, it was nice to  see them all singing and dancing in the street and having a good time, but get off my fucking bike lane bitch ! Do they not know this RED LINE IS FOR BIKES ? Two guys stepped out in front of me when I was going full speed on damn rak, I had to slam on my breaks and nearly went over my handle bars. Stay off the god damn red lines !

Windows. Windows. Windows. Amsterdam houses tend to have big, open windows. and no curtains/blinds. Its very common to walk around day and night and be able to look into a window and see people having their dinner, watching tv on the sofa or sat there reading a book. Sadly, in all the time I have been here, and in every window I have looked in, I look in every window, I have not yet seen anyone having sex. Very disapointed at this. Im gonna keep looking this last weekend im here, and hopefully I will see someone shagging on the dinner table.


Chips/fries. They seem to be pretty popular here. Im not a big chip eater, so beleive it or not, even though its on all must do lists for visiting Amsterdam I havnt had them. They are served in these paper cones with lashings of mayo, I dont have much to say on this as I havnt had the pleasure of burning the top of my mouth with this piping hot fatty potatos.

Prostitution. Its legal !? Really ?! How , why ? Why should prostitution be legal ANYWHERE ? I suppose it is better that they are doing it in their little windows (see windows again) rather than on the street, even though that still does go on here. But I just cant seem to understand why its legal. Especially as the majority of these girls are trafficked. Sure, if you wanna be a whore, then you may as well get paid for it, but you HAVE to want to do it, thats the thing that bothers me. Most of them, I beleive , dont want to do it. They dont want to be here. Sat in those windows. Sure, if you were only getting nice good looking hot men, youd wanna do it. (NOT ME) But I have seen the men that go in there, you cant tell me al these girls choose to do it. If you hang around the red light district around 5 / 6 pm you often see the girls coming to work with their pimps, who, trying not to be stereotypical here, are mostly middle eastern looking. Now if these girls have pimps and stuff, how is this what they choose to do ? is this what they dreamed of as a kid ? I can go on about this subject for hours. I still dont think it should be legal here, I dont think the red light district should exist at all, but like I mentioned above, it seems to be safer than the girls doing it on the streets and getting into mens cars. Saying this, the red light district is not at all an unsafe place for girls, families anyone. Its actually very safe, theres a lot of CCTV and a lot of police around the area

Another thing I cant get over being legal here is Canabis. Before I came to Holland I thought that it was ONLY legal to smoke in 'coffeeshops' and aparantly that is the law. But you can walk past police here, smoking a massive joint, and they wouldnt bat an eye lid. Coffeeshops are everywhere here. Before I was here I was worried I would not be able to tell a coffee shop apart and a normal coffee shop apart. You definately can. They often stink of weed in the surrounding area and you can just tell by the grungy style of the cafe. Coffeeshops dont serve alchohol, just Hash and Weed and soft drinks.Its really strange to me though how this is allowed. Every other country I have been to there has been no such thing like this. I suppose in Thailand and Cambodia you could access weed easily, but it was 'ilegal and a life sentence' if caught.

Supermarkets are expensive. Im not gonna go into this subject again. IT ANNOYS ME.



Public transport is very expensive. Back home I can pay £3 for an all day ticket, so up to midnight, and i can get on and off 100 times, if thats even possible. Here, you pay 2.80 EURO for a one hour ticket. Thats pricey ! But I soon found out theres a few trams you can ride for free. The old ones that have no one sat in those little booths checking on you. The 16 and 24 seem to be the ones I know of, going towards the pijp. I have never been caught. Also the ride from the airport is 15 minutes, if you get on the oposite end of the train to the inspector, you can walk the length of the train and reach Amsterdam central before they check up on you. Few law breaking tips for ya there !

Dinner time in Dutch families seems to be quite strict that it has to be 6pm. I hated that. Maybe it was just the family I was with ?

Dutch tv is shit, :)

Canels. Of course, how can I forget the Canels ? Amsterdam is one of the most beautiful cities I have been to, and I have been to a lot of cities. The canels are stunning, there lovely just to walk around, day or night and sit and have a drink. Theres loads of cute little bars or cafe in The Jordaan area. But boy can they be annoying sometimes. So on the canels your meant to ride the same way the traffick goes. So say im riding on the left side. On the right side is the cafe I want to go to. I have to keep cycling on the LEFT side untill I find the bridge to cross, cos you know I cant just swim with my bike, then cross, to the RIGHT side, then double back to the cafe I wanted to go to. That can be annoying.

Paying to go to the toilet. I have travelled a lot, and sometimes have had to pay say like 20 cents to go to the toilet at a bus station , 30 cents at waterloo, but I have never had to pay to wee in a club / pub/ bar. In walkabout theres always that annoying lady who takes all the toilet roll out the cubicles and expects you to pay her for the right of toilet roll, but you dont ever have to actually pay to wee at home. I paid for the drink that makes that wee, why the hell should I pay to sit down and get rid of that wee?

The dutch dont really dress up. Dutch girls are quite happy to go to a club in skkiny jeans and trainers. Its just a dutch thing I guess. Even posh restaurants you can get away with joggers on. That really surprises me.

Theres a lot of bakeries here offering great sweet treats. Only tried them once but they are oh so tempting.


LEKKER ! LEKKER ! LEKKER ! Try get a dutch person to not say this word , for an hour, its just impossible


Clogs. I know we all think that in Holland people walk around wearing clogs, they live in windmills and just eat cheese. Well I thought that anyway even if no one else did. Sadly, this is a myth. I would love to see some dutchies just walking round with one of those massive wheels of cheese, wearing clogs and of course living in a widmill. Come on, how cool would that actually be? We all wanna be cool and live in windmills and wear wooden shoes ! I do anyway... Thats my ultimate dream in life.

The supermarkets here in The Netherlands

Seriously, for those of you on my facebook, you have probably seen me ranting about the supermarkets here. I sound like such a whiney bitch. But its true, they are just lame. Give me sainsburys any day.

When I first went to the supermarket, I was just like, well is this it? Wheres the rest ?

The Albert Heijn by my house was small, it was like a mini supermarket that you can just stop in back home and get some milk in. but that was the supermarket. that was everything they had to offer.

A few weeks later I found a very big one, like the size of a regular sainsburys. But still, it didnt have as much as we have at home. It was big yes, but everything was just more spread out.

So the supermarkets are just lame. yes theres Alsi and Lidl, but even back home we dont do a full supermarket shop there.

I went to this supermarket the other day, near to the house im in at the mo. Turns out it was some kind of turkish supermarket. But still, it was a dutch turkish supermarket, so surprise surprise it was rubbish. Can you see where this rant is going ? It had hardly any vegetables, no bacon, no freaking bacon ! And only a few select pieces of chicken, some weird rice, no booze, and most of the shelvs were empty. It was like they knew something I didnt know. All the bread was gone. all the rice, you know all that kinda stuff. Maybe something was gonna happen, like the world was gonna end, and I just didnt know.

Dont even get me started on the bacon here. I bought some bacon the other day. It was wafer thin. AND ROUND. WHO HAS ROUND BACON ?! ROUND BACON ?

I cooked it, and it just went all soggy, didnt crisp up, and just tasted processed.

Basically the long and short of this poinless blog, is , eat out, eat falafal. Just falafal. Go eat falafal.

The pros and cons of biking in Amsterdam

I have not blogged in a while. Im sure I always start blogs like this. 'So I have not blogged in a while' so thought I would blog about the Pros and Cons of Biking in Amsterdam. Im gonna try and be super clever and write a pro and a con together, does that even make sense? Made sense in my head :)

1. Biking. Surely I can think of some pros to biking ? 

Ok if you do it enough, like these dutchies too, man you get legs of steel. But, thats not always a good thing. I see some dutch girls, in skirts, and they have the most muscly legs, from all the cycling. Sometimes not a good look :) See there was a pro and a con at the same time. Clever me. But really, the pros, its cheap. Especially if you have bikes given to you and dont have to pay for them. So basically its free ! Everyone loves free things ! And its quicker, once you get used to it, and the way around, than public transport. Much quicker.

Everyone bikes here, so if you dont bike, your definately seen as the lazy one. I was the lazy one for a while. Sometimes I still am. Maybe its cos I cant figure out google maps and that shit looks way to confusing on the map, then I get on the tram, and it would have been so easy on a bike.

The cons to cycling ? If you wear a short dress / skirt, theres no hiding your junk, everyone can see what you got going on down there. But its ok, once you have cycled past them your probably never gonna see them again.

I can never find my bike. My first bike, with work, was bright orange, and at first I used to take a photo of it, and the surrounding area, then when I went back to look for it, if I was dumb enough not to spot this orange thing I would check my phone and somehow find it. My bike now is proper old school, and just blends in with the millions of other bikes. I get myself in a right state coming out the supermarket thinking its been nicked then I found it where I left it only 15 minutes before. Short term memory loss, anyone ?

Sweat. You sweat. Or maybe Im just a sweaty betty and I just sweat ? But come on, you think its cold out, so you wear your coat, then you rock up at this bar, and your all sweaty from a 20 minute bike ride. Gahhh.

People here bike with multiple people on their bikes. I have. Well, I have been a passenger. I tried giving a 'backie' it ended up with a bump on the head. Its cool how people cycle with 2 kids to a bike, one on the front, one on the back. I used to cycle with Koenraad on the front seat, and baby Donna in the sling. It was actually so much fun ! The dutch girls do this side riding thing here, one girl cycles, the other then jumps on the back when the bike is moving, and sits sideways.

Con to this ? I end up on my ass. with bruises, and probably cyring. How the hell do they do it ? Who in their right mind would come up with this weird idea to just jump onto a moving vechile, on a road?! who why what !!

Ok, bakfiets !? I have not spelt this right. and even after living here this long I still cant say it correctly AND im still terrified of riding them. They are cool though. Its this wooden box on wheels on the front of your bike basically, I have seen upto 5 kids in one. Or even tvs, shopping etc. So they are quite handy. Thing is there bloody hard to ride. I tried, I nearly crashed into the expensive car in the street. I never really tried again. and definately not with kids in it. Maybe if I didnt like someone I could ride it with them in it, rather close to a Canel. Food for thought eh.

Ok thats enough on bikes, heres some pics of the millions of bikes !