Aaliyah Rose: May is mental health month

Ok, so May is mental health month. May is all about raising awareness for mental health. Personally, I think everyone should stop and think about mental health every day. That person in the office who you think is a little bit odd, may suffer with anxiety. That homeless man on the street, might have bipolar or schizophrenia.

So many people, Including myself, suffer with mental health issues. I'm pretty open about it because Im trying to break the silence and stop the taboo thoughts about mental health. Not everyone is as open and honest about their struggles as I am. Damn, I'm not even as honest as I should be. Of course I'm not going to discuss my actual problems on a social media site, but I do often post about it to raise awareness.

Reach out and be more understanding to your fellow buddies who may suffer with depression, anxiety, bpd, bipolar, eating disorders and so on. Its not easy living with these things. We don't want these things. Even without knowing someone has mental health issues, just reach out and be nice. Be a good person, be bloody kind. Don't just be kind to people with mental health issues, be kind to everyone. You don't know what may trigger someone, what may set them off and set them 6 months back.

I seriously need to get healthy. Not just mentally healthy, but physically healthy too. Im using May, as mental health month, to kick start getting healthy and getting my life back on track.

Before I got sick, I was slim, fit and healthy.

See ! Fit and healthy. SEXY ! ha

It all started in April 2011.

I had been travelling south east Asia and Australia for months. In Thailand I was bitten by a mosquito that carried dengue fever, once I reached Penang about a week later I was extremely weak and turning grey. After a few days of staying at a lovely home stay with a lovely lady sitting with me 24 hours a day I was taken and admitted into Penang Hospital. Within a few hours I was diagnosed with Dengue fever. They told me there was no quick cure, just a lot of rest and water. A week or so later I cut my trip short and flew home. I was wheeled through to my mum and dad in a wheelchair and looked like death. I didn't look happy and healthy, how I should of looked after being out in the sun for so long.

I should have looked like this, healthy, tanned, strong and happy. This was taken a week or so before the mosquito bite.

Time went on at home and I seemed to be getting better until august 2011.

I woke up with the most awful headache. I just thought it was a normal headache and would bugger off. I was doing Mudeford arts festival so headed down the quay and attempted to set up my Gazebo with mum and all my art. I couldn't do anything. My body was just useless, my left arm and leg had dropped and were completely numb. Throughout the festival I had the most awful headache and just sat down a lot. I went to the doctors on Monday and they just said I had a head ache and everything was fine.

The headaches carried on for a few more months, I was always going to the doctors but had no joy. By now my left arm was extremely weak and just kind of hung by the side of my body. I was too scared to use it because I couldn't grip anything and was dropping things.

I started getting pain all over my left arm and leg, in the left side of my chest and in the left side of my face. Everything was the left side. I saw endless doctors, chiropractors, neurologists etc. I just kept on getting poo pood until one doctor said Fibromyalgia. I went home and did my research and noticed all my other weird symptoms linked up. I had this Fibromyalgia thing.

Seeing a chiropractor

I found a few 'support' ( haha) pages on Facebook but found them extremely negative. Ladies on their basically told me to give up on life and be in a wheelchair.

I carried on travelling I went to Jordan and Israel for a few months. It was full of highs and lows, mentally and physically. Some days I had endless energy and would be jumping in the sea, partying, and exploring markets, other days I'd be as low as I could be, suffering really badly mentally and sleeping loads.

I didn't once link together that when my mental health dropped, my body also gave up. Its only been recently I put the two together.

Things went on, life went on, the pain and the fatigue went on. I moved to Amsterdam, partied a lot, had a lot of fun then returned home.

August 2013, I gained a lot of weight. A lot. I became out of breath but I just put it down to being fat. In the November I finally went to the doctor and said I'm out of breath, whats up doc. My oxygen levels were taken and were really low. I was taken to hospital and soon told I was in heart failure. Hence the weight gain.

The heart failure went on for the best part of a year. In that year I didn't give up, I didn't want to give in. I set up a small organisation, just before I was told I had heart failure, in Istanbul helping the Syrian refugees.

I flew to turkey with my Mum with 15 suitcases full of clothes. I had a heart attack on the plane. A bloody heart attack.

Life went on.

I started taking pills for the fibromyalgia. They didn't work. Nothing worked. I wasn't really offered any medical help. Christmas 2015 I was given a juicer and the Jason vale 7lb in 7 days book.

I started looking into more holistic ways to treat my fibromyalgia.

Everything pointed towards juicing, raw diet, vegan diet, no sugar, no gluten, no caffeine etc.

To do that, you have to be determined and be strong.

Im determined, I thought I was strong, but Im not.

These last few months I have been trying to juice but keep on buying chocolate. The silly little voices in my head, and my past issues where I used food to control my life, still pop back up. I'm one of those secret eaters. I binge eat. I don't even feel bad after doing it. I see no shame.

So Im using May, as mental health awareness month, to kick me up the butt and get bloody healthy.

Im back on the juice tomorrow. I'm determined to do it. I have no money, so I cant go over the little convenient ( Ha, yes its convenient for my chocolate) store over the road. I cant go buy chocolate or coke. (Mum funds the juicing, as Im skinto). I need to loose a good 3 stone, I need to be mentally healthy and I need to kick fibromyalgia to the curb and keep it there as long as possible.

I saw a lovely rhemotoligist the other day. He confirmed that being mentally healthy would definitely help the fibromyalgia, in fact the fibromyalgia could stop, as long as I keep my mind healthy. I don't believe JUST food and juice will help my crazy mental mind, I'm also doing other things to help with those issues.

Im absolutely obsessed with food. Obsessed. All I think about is food and what im going to eat next, cook next or where im going to eat out next. Obsessed. Its all I think about. I hope going onto Juice I will stop all these insane thoughts about food.

I sleep a lot. Im always tired and lacking energy, yet when I go to lie down at night and GO TO SLEEP, I suffer with Insomnia. How does that make sense?

I need more energy and to feel normal, im only 24.

I'm doing yoga and meditation and its really helping.

So I'm ready to go tomorrow. I know I always say this, BUT I want this time to be different !

This was in Isreal, one of my energetic days playing with some kiddies.