My strength and determination

I have been asked a good few times now from strangers and friends where I get my strength, determination and enthusiasm from.

From strangers who dont know me, this is just a general question. From my friends, I think this question is asked because of my illness and how sick they know I can be.

So I will try my best to answer :)

I guess deep down I know that no matter how sick I am with my fibromayalgia and depression, I have a house. I get fed every day. I have money in my bank account. Hardly any, but, if I want to buy a sandwich, I can. I realise that I am fed every day, I have a warm bed to sleep in, and I have clothes to wear. If im cold I put more clothes on, or, put the heating on.

I know that even though im sick, and can get worse, I have all these things. I don't live on the streets. Im not cold, im not hungry, im not without my home country, my money, my family and Im not trying to protect my family and myself on the streets or in regugee camps.

No matter how much pain I am in with my fibromayalgia, or how tired I am from suffering with chronic fatigue, I haven't witnessed a war. I haven't had to flee my home, my country and maybe even leave some of my family behind. 

Thats where my determination comes from. Knowing that these innocent people are suffering. I am also suffering in a different way, but I still have food, clean clothes, a warm home, money in my bank and shoes on my feet.

I cant have a full time job here as my concentration and energy levels are pretty much below 0. I would fall asleep on the job ! So throwing everything I have into helping other people keeps me going. It keeps me focused. It gives me something to do every day and something to look forward to. It gives me some kind of idea of the future. Some kind of hopes and aspirations as to how I can continue to help these lovely people as time goes on.

Knowing that Im making someone else's life a bit happier makes me happy. It gives me strength to put my illness and my problems to the back of my mind and to think of other people.  If just giving a family some food, clothes and milk will make them happy, and a bit more comfortable, that makes me happy and makes me strong enough to carry on.

By no means do I think this is going to be easy. At times it probably could effect my illness. But anything can effect my illness. I cant just sit still 24 hours 7 days a week and do nothing in my life for risk of getting sick :)

Istanbul will be stressful. Its not going to be easy giving 14 suitcases full of clothes, nappies, toys, toiletries and shoes out to so many families. 

Im extremly enthusiastic about this cause. The syrians who have escaped and fled to the streets of Istanbul and who are in the regugee camps are innocent. They did nothing wrong. They need our help and I will continue to spread the word. 

Many people have said to me the Syrians dont deserve my / your / our help because its not happening here in bournemouth, its in another country, its really far away.

Syria / Turkey is not far away. Its 4 / 5 hours by plane.

Turkey is a very popular holiday destination. Its streets are now filled with Syrian refugees who barely anyone is helping.

I have encouraged so many people in Istanbul  some double my age, to open their eyes and start helping. The amount of emails I have received thanking me and asking me how they can help has been crazy. 

The more emails I receive, the more support I receive, just encourages me even more to carry on going. If I had not set this up I wonder if anyone else would of. If anyone else would of started helping . The children are just beautiful. They are just innocent little children and babies. The parents are extremely grateful for everything I am doing to help them and are not at all aggressive  To be honest they are embarrassed. They dont want to live like this and im determined to help them.