On my first day in Istanbul we met up with Mughira, who runs his own charity, Insan Der.
Insan Der have over 2,000 Syrians on their database that live in Istanbul and who are in need. Mughira gave us a list of 5 families in homes , with the ages of their children and what they needed. We packed up bags according to the lists and spend the day visiting families. Here goes.
Family # 1
Mum, Katy, Mughira and I had been in the van for a good 45 minutes struggling through Istanbul traffic when we turned into a small neighborhood. Anyone who has been to Istanbul knows this little neighborhoods are full of tiny streets with cars parked everywhere and people driving cars the wrong way, they clearly shouldn't have a driving licence.
We pulled into a narrow street and a man was waiting for us. He greeted us as we stepped out the van into the rain. We heard children's voices up above, it was his three children shouting to us from the top floor. Now, In Istanbul I was not in the best of health. I could barely walk a flat path due to my failing heart, so walking the five stories up those narrow winding stairs was horrible. I was welcomed by a beautiful smiling lady, with freckles dotted all over her face. She gave me a big hug and two kisses and it was like we had been friends forever. She welcomed us into her home and ushered us to sit down. Meanwhile, the guys were carrying up all the clothes.
Once we were all settled in the house drinking Syrian coffee, Mughira started translating any questions we had for each other.
I wanted to know how they met.
They both smiled at each other happily and told me the story
' We fell in love. I saw her every day on the balcony. She was beautiful. I knew she was the girl I was going to marry'
They both giggled like teenagers as they went on to tell the story about their wedding and their life since.
They have three children. One girl, aged 6, and two boys, 3 years old and 1 year old. At first the 3 year old boy was terrified of us and hid in the bedroom crying.
They traveled to Istanbul by bus when the mum, who is only 24, was pregnant with their third child. All children are perfectly healthy and happy, the six year old girl goes to a local school and told us she loves school and her friends.
The majority of the time we were there I held the young baby who was so happy, just cuddling up in my arms, while Katy played with the two children with toys we took for them.
Mughira went on to tell us how the mum, I feel really bad that I don't remember her name, was diagnosed with cancer during her pregnancy. As soon as her son was born she had the cancerous tumor operated on and she is now undergoing chemotherapy at the local hospital. Treatment is free for her as she has refugee status. I'm so glad its free otherwise I hate to think what could happen.
The family of five shared the small flat with another family, a husband, wife and 3 children. Altogether there were 12 people living in this tiny little flat. The flat was basic, it had one small kitchen - living room , one bedroom and one bathroom.
I asked the family if they wanted to know anything about me. They asked simple questions about my life at home and why I wished to help them and their people. Mughira told them the answers, they were extremely grateful for all the help and all the awareness I had raised back home and kept on telling me god has blessed me.
I asked the young mum if she could show me her hair in the privacy of her bedroom as I could see under her hijab she had blond hair. She was so happy that I wanted to see her hair and ushered me, mum and Katy into her room. She pulled off her hijab, and I will never forget the way she shook her head and this long flowing beautiful hair came tumbling down her back. She was really beautiful. She showed us the scars across her neck from cancer, the scars went from one side of her neck to the other.
While we were complimenting her on her beautiful hair, she showed us her wedding photos and showed us her small bedroom and the things she had. She was so proud of the things she had and was excited to show them off. She rummaged in her draw and pulled out a ring and handed it to me. She told me it was a present for me and I must keep it. Katy and my mum were given beautiful hair clips.
We left this family with two suitcases full of clothes for the adults and the children. We took a suitcase full of shoes that they could choose from, they took a couple of pairs of shoes each.
This family are now facing homelessness as they have run out of the money they came from. The two men are unable to find work due to the fact they are Syrian and do not speak the turkish language.
Every time I look at that ring I will remember that beautiful girl with the freckles on her cheeks.
So I should have written this years ago when I first started travelling alone, so all these years later, after I have had many adventures, many mistakes and many scary moments I would rather forget, here I am getting round to writing some handy tips for solo female travelers... and boys too I guess. Boy or girl, enjoy the blog :) Here goes...
Fake wedding rings
I have forgotten how many fake wedding rings I have worn for a few weeks, then lost. I do hope when I eventually get married I will not loose my wedding ring so easily.
These fake wedding rings have come in super handy in the years I have been a solo female traveler.
Sure, not every guy cares if your married or single while chatting you up in a bar, but 9 times out of 10 if you point at the wedding ring and mumble something about a drop dead gorgeous Brad Pitt lookalike husband at home looking after the kids, they'll leave you to drink your
baileys.
Mobile phones
Now this one goes for boys and girls, young or old. Forget that damn smart phone. You don't need it. The majority of the time you will have no signal so its pointless, plus the battery's are rubbish. Buy one of these old school phones for £10 from Tesco before you go away. Once you reach your destination buy a local sim card, and ta daa, your in touch with the world. Those old phones are great. Sure they have no camera, or no fancy app that you cant use anyway cos you don't have credit, but the battery life on them is amazing.
Theres no need to worry if your in the middle of the jungle for four days and a monkey starts eating your leg, your phone battery wont be dead. You wont be able to call anyone cos you have no signal. Damn maybe you should have kept that smart phone to take a photo of the monkey eating your leg :)
All jokes aside, the phones are great. If your in a remote village for a few days with limited electricity you wont be going stir crazy cos your battery has died, those bad boys last weeks.
Be cautious
Don't go round telling EVERYONE your travelling alone. Sure the check in guy at reception knows your travelling alone, but does everyone round the pool and the man at the local store need to know your alone ? No, be selective who you tell what. Be cautious of people. Always keep your hotel room door locked with the key in the lock. Don't blurt out to the guys in the bar next door your room number when your drunk, you never know what could happen.
I'd like to think you wouldn't go walking down dark alleys in your own country, so likewise, don't do it abroad. I know we all have this new found freedom and confidence when travelling, but don't let it all go to your head. Keep to the well lit areas, and always use a licensed taxi when going home. Common sense, I know. But some people don't!
Maps and all that...
Some people rave about maps, I really don't. Maybe its cos I'm a women and I really cant read a damn map ! I also find maps are just an easy man trap. If you walk along confidently, and just pretend you know where your going, no strange man is going to approach you offering to take you to the place your looking for. Always just politely decline. If you are lost, find a shop and ask the shop owner for some directions.
A few times I have fallen for the line ' Oh can I help you, I know that place, I will show you the way' etc, and then they by pass you to their uncles spice shop, or their long lost cousins carpet store, or they want a ridiculous tip.
Try not to get stitched up :)
If I'm going somewhere in particular rather than just wondering I always ask the receptionist in my hotel or hostel to write down the directions for me on a piece of paper that I can hold discreetly rather than having a big map that shouts out IM A TOURIST.
Be respectful , blend in with the locals
A lot of the popular travel destinations practice different religions to us. Before you go to your chosen destination do a little research on the religion of the country you are visiting and the respectful do's and don'ts of those countries.
In places like Australia, UK and America pretty much anything goes. You have all seen that crazy website about people being spotted in wall mart right !? Ha. But in many other countries you really should be a bit careful how you dress. For a start, if your walking around in hot bands and crop tops, your going to attract the wrong attention :)
Yes, I know we should be able to dress any way we want. Yes, I know that no state of undress provides a valid excuse to get harassed. But let’s get real: dressing a certain way in certain places will net you attention, some of which may be negative. I like short shorts more than anyone, but I don’t enjoy being wolf whistled at or having people touch/follow me because three-quarters of my legs are on display. I like to remain as 'local' as possible when I travel, and try to blend in with the locals as much as I can. This makes my trip much more enjoyable
Many of the countries we will all visit are Muslim, Hindu, Christian, or Buddhist. Therefore dressing modestly is a must. If your on the beach, where a bikini, sure go topless, see if I care. But when walking around, for example Istanbul or Kuala Lumpar, cover your boobs and ass :)
For example, in Muslim countries you will take your shoes off when you enter a home, when you visit a mosque you must be dressed suitably. Covering your head, shoulders, and sometimes your knees.
If you respect other countries religions and beliefs you will have a much better time and the locals may even invite you to experience their beliefs.
I'm a big lover of pashmina scarfs. They are so handy. I always carry one in my bag, if I wish to visit a church or mosque, I can easily cover my head and my shoulders. I will write more about these handy scarfs later :)
When I was in south east Asia it was polite to bow your head at a monk or an older person, this is seen as highly respectful, and you will be respected in return for doing such a nice thing.
Keep in touch
This kind of goes back to the mobile phone thing and getting a local sim card. People back home will worry, its only natural. Their daughter / sister / best friend has gone off into the big bad world travelling. I used to text or email home every day, if I didn't, my mum thought I had been kidnapped !
I know being in contact every day may be hard, but at least every few days, just check in. Write a Facebook status, email home, have a quick Skype call, just let all your loved ones know your alive and haven't been eaten by the crazy Monkeys.
Photos
I cant stress this enough, back your damn photos up. SAVE THEM. EMAIL THEM. PUT THEM ON CDS. Dont come crying on facebook next week when you lost your camera in the club cos you were drunk and you lost 8 months worth of awesome travel snaps.
In pretty much every country I have been to you can go to some kind of computer / phone shop and get your photos put onto cds by the clever man that works in the shop.
Photo bucket is also a good online place to store your photos. Dont just upload them on Facebook and think they'll be safe.
Be prepared.
Do the research on where your going and plan a few things. A well-prepared itinerary helps you feel secure and keeps you occupied. At the very least, as a female travelling alone, you should book your first night of accommodation before your arrival at your destination. It saves a lot of hassle wondering around a strange new place, sometimes in the dark, with a massive tortoise shell on your back. Most hostels / hotels do cheap or free pick ups from the airport too ! Massive bonus. Theres nothing worse than getting on a bus or in a taxi in a new place and getting paranoid they are going the wrong way !
Walking tours
The best FREE (ish) trips around. Just put your name down on the list, and ta daa, you have an awesome, free ish, first day planned. Nearly all hostels organise FREE (ISH) walking tours. Its ideal to do the tour on your first day in that new place, to get your bearings, learn a bit about where you are. That way, when you explore the next day your less likely to get lost. Actually I lied, you will get lost.
Walking tours are a great way to make new freinds too.
Walking tours are free (ish). They always say their free, but at the end of the tour your guide will pull at your heart strings and persuade you to give them a tip.
Stay in hostels and don’t be afraid to talk to strangers.
Most hostels have common rooms and host community building events.
I met tons of people in hostels who I’ve gone on to have amazing times with abroad. If sharing a room with strangers creeps you out, you can always stay in a private room- many hostels have them. Prefer to stay in a hotel? No problem. Many hostels post events on their websites, and you don’t necessarily have to be a guest to attend. Don’t miss out on a prime opportunity to meet other travelers! If you have a chance, read the reviews of hostels online before you go there, you don't wanna get bitten by bedbugs do you!?
HAVE FUN !!!!
